CHICAGO -- Mark A. Augustin -- a former whig merchant turned Republican candidate for Congress -- today denied that he is being investigated by a grand jury for petit larceny, loitering and sodomy, said his spokesman, Danny Padlock.
"It ain't fuckin' true," said Padlock. "Mark ain't never loitered nowheres."
The shocking revelations were first reported in the Paris-based, French-language daily, LeMonde.
For the full story, check out the paper at www.lemonde.fr