have been in Ahmedabad for over 2 weeks....many of you have
followed my journey and have been with me in spirit if not in person.
Perhaps you have read my last four mails. Perhaps they have stirred
something inside you, perhaps you are bored of them. Or maybe find
them tedious and depressing.Either way,if you have got this far,then
you have not pressed the delete button when you saw my name on the
mail.....if you dont like to read such stuff you could press delete
now,for the picture is still very bleak.There is however a small ray
of hope.And let us see what all of us can do together....from here or
from wherever you are....

To begin with let me say I cannot over emphasise the need for people
to come here...whatever your skills may be you will be able to put
them to good use, in the process of healing the wounds....but first
come as pure and simple humans....people who still believe in the
ideals of
secularism,democracy,togetherness,interdependence,love and above
all....insaaniyat....the idea that all humanity is one.This city
needs such people and there seems little chance of this variety of
the human species emerging from within Ahmedabad in large numbers.

By urging you to come here,I dont want to encourage and add to the
"riot tourism" that I already see around us.Some people get a
vicarious pleasure out of witnessing someone else's misery.....some
feel lucky and happy to be well off when they see suffering at close
quarters.....and end up feeling gung-ho about themselves.You will
also find enough people here who are making a fortune out of this
tragedy,both because of the destruction, and also from the process of
relief.It may sicken you.

Most who come here even with good intentions still end up being blind
to the "real" Ahmedabad, because everything seems so normal.Well one
part of the city is always like that....McDonalds even had a gala
opening of a new outlet in the midst of the riots (which were
happening in the "other" part of the city) and there were huge queues
on the first few days...

Come to try and peep into the minds of the real sufferers and try to
really "feel" their suffering, not just "see" it. It is of course an
impossible task because you and I have not been living in a filthy
overcrowded camp for the last three months.....not knowing how to
answer the children's questions. We can have a cup of tea or go the
toilet without making a massive effort for
it and the question of ridiculous, insensitive and insulting
compensation amounts does not weigh on our minds day in and day out.
Also we have never lost "everything" we owned and even if we had, we
would still have the privilege of education. We are not being told by
government officials that we are only "guests" in this country for
another two months and after that we
either leave or get killed. Hundreds of thousands of people are
suffering and being mentally tortured and we can never completely
feel what they are feeling.....but we should try to feel atleast one
percent of it.

I know that there is suffering everywhere, probably in your own
backyard, so why come here...well something about present day
Ahmedabad puts many things in perspective. It will make a few truths
very obvious....truths that we tend to ignore.....I guess it would be
rare to find such extreme suffering and such extreme indifference co
existing so close to each other.It will help you fully fathom the
effect that propaganda and blatant lies can have on people so easily.
It will help you understand what hatred can do in in it's extreme
form. When you press the rewind button and see how the situation
developed you will realise that the same thing is happening very
close to you and how you will be it's next victim. You will then
realise how dangerous
"acceptance" can be, and that we are all guilty of this acceptance. You will
know how we have "consumed" images of Bosnia, Israel, Kalahandi and Gujarat
and how they have made us numb.

I know that those who come here will do so not because of what I or
someone else tells them. They will come only if their heart tells
them to...Only those with the stomach for such things will come
here....you will need it because however much we may warn you, the
situation will depress you and you will have to deal with it. You
will not be able to talk to local people about it because if you do,
you may be the next victim of the Bajrang Dal, their mindset is
everywhere. Many people recognise me from television and ask what I
am doing here...I have to lie to them for if they get to know that I
visit the "Muslim" camps they would pass it on to someone from the
VHP and I may have to stop what I am doing, and what is worse it will
discourage several
others....So if you are planning to come here, do not talk about this
to shopkeepers, autowallahs, or other people you interact with. Be
wary when you speak even with your Gujarati friends, especially if
they have been living here for the last ten years, you may find that
they have changed...

Let me digress a little here...speaking of friends who have changed,
I find the same with some of mine, especially those in the US....what
is it with that place? I wonder why the VHP finds it so easy to
spread their poison there? They tell me that I am wasting my time and
that the Muslims have only got what they deserved...when I try to
talk reason,I get the reply....where were you when this was happening
in Kashmir...I want them to come here and meet a few freinds.Like 5
year old Irfan in the Shah Alam camp....he saw his aunt being raped
and burnt by men who were shouting Jai Shri Ram.They wore khaki
shorts and saffron banians.Irfan sings quite well and likes imli.When
I got him to draw, he made the Indian flag.I dont know too much else
about
him and I dont want to....there are too many like him.....and they
are all wondering if they will ever go back home.Nilofer is six and
has prickly heat all over...half the kids in the camps do....she
wanted to see me dance to a Daler Mehndi tune and when I did, she
smiled.Her mother told me that it was the first time she smiled since
she saw her best friend another 6 year old
girl pulled out from her wheelchair, and hung on a tree.Nilofer does
not know yet that her friend was burnt alive, because her mother took
her inside.Well I am sorry I did nothing for Kashmir,truly sorry and
am extremely guilty about it.....but I am sure that these kids did
not deserve this.I have many hundred friends at the camps now and I
dont know all their
stories,but for sure they did not deserve what they are going
through.Neither did the Hindus in Kashmir or at Godhra.But if you
think that killing innocents is the right way of avenging the deaths
of other innocents then there is something fundamentally wrong with
you.

You also need to know that although there has been relative calm,
there is always the chance that the situation may take a dive.There
have been sporadic incidents almost everyday. But who knows what will
happen next(well for that matter,you may be hit by a car wherever you
are, although I hope it does not happen!).....there is also talk of
"Muslim" retaliation with the help of Pakistan(Isn't it amazing how
Musharraf and the VHP make the job so much easier for each
other?)...in which case there may be another small round of
violence....then there is the impending Rath Yatra in the end of
June.....what I mean is that you must remember before you call your
travel agent that this is a "disturbed" area in that sense...(another
digression....some horrific men living in Muslim bodies may kill some
more women and children and then my friends from the US, living in
Hindu bodies will say to me"See?The Muslims know only the language of
the sword...did I not tell you so?"They will then give more money to
the VHP which will go into buying kerosene,petrol,pamphlets,mobile
phones,khaki sorts,liquor,trishuls,swords,trucks......whoopie,what
fun...)so....come only if you are comfortable with this horrible
thought....Irfan,Nilofer, or any other friend you make from the
thousands of children here,may be next in line.I know it's a terribly
depressing thought,but dont press the delete button now.

There is a small island of sanity called Ram Rahim Nagar.This area,
inhabited by poor people, has always kept itself away from all this
madness.....and even in these trying times Hindus and Muslims live
here in complete harmony.The inhabitants are amazing people.The place
makes me wonder if I could have maintained my own sanity in the midst
of a city like this.Now I also wonder how I will react to my city.I
will be leaving for Mumbai and I plan to spend a week,but I already
know I will not be able to spend more than 3 or 4 days there.I have a
feeling I will be more disturbed when I see that everything is
absolutely "normal" there,and that only a few hundred people there
are bothered about a tragedy of such proportions.I will then comfort
myself by thinking of some of the wonderful individuals I have met
here,who are genuinely doing great work and with tremendous sacrifice.

The other thing that helps us all carry on is the understanding that
however bleak the scenario,it is an absolute must that we all must do
whatever little we can.The mind may say that the situation is so
hopeless that any effort will be in vain.My devious mind finds many
other ways to discourage me but, so far I am hanging in there.There
is no greater remedy than action....it helps both me and someone
else.I was exteremely depressed before coming here....the little
activity I do in the camps has helped me tremendously.Friends ask me
if I have become an "activist",I reply no,I have merely become
"active".I spend most of my time with the children who need my
time,but here are just too many of them.....if you count all of
Gujarat the number is in six figures.My friend Neeraj Sahay is trying
to co ordinate filming efforts....he has worked out a good plan to
use filmmakers and equipment in the way they will be most
valuable....but there are too few of us,if any more come here do get
in touch with us....your services and equipment will be extremely
valuable.We can also guide others who have particular skills about
how to best use their time and effort and whom to co ordinate
with.And even those who may think they have no special skills but
have the time and inclination.You could mail us on
gurpalforpeace@h... or call at 079-6633914. For those who just cannot
come for some reasons or do not want to,but are
inclined to help...the best help is to mobilise and inform others.You
would have to do this on a one to one basis.Most people don't have
any information about the situation,and many more are not wanting to
listen.We all have a tendency to shut our minds off these things and
get on with life.We need to realise that when the fire engulfs us we
will never be able to "get on with
life".We have to make everyone think about it.And for this we all
have to step up our activity levels....each and every moment we have
for ourselves should be spent doing this and thinking about how best
to do this,because you have to deal with each person in a different
way...
Some people have been asking us where to send money.This is a tricky
question because you would want your hard earned money to go to the
people who really need it.We too struggled with this for a
while,visavis the money we had collected before coming here.I will
soon be writing to you about how that money was spent.Some have been
asking about cheques and what names to
send them in.If you like you could send them in the name of St.
Xavier's Social Service Society, and sent to St. Xaviers Social
Service Society, P.O. Box 4088, Navrangpura, Ahmedabad -
380009, Gujarat, India OR you could send in the name of SPRAT (that
is Society for the Promotion of Rational Thinking) SF/8 Rajnagar
Complex,Narayan Nagar Road, Near NID, Paldi, Amdavad 380007.If you
like you could send it to us at B4 Elite Flats,Jethabhai Park,
Narayan Nagar Road,Paldi,Amdavad 380007.We will personally hand over
your cheques and get
receipts.You could also help fund our effort as we need tapes and
equipment.I will soon send more details about our effort and how you
could help in that.

If you send money to anyone,then please try to ensure one
thing...there has to be an element of sacrifice in what you send.You
could give up the idea of buying that extra plot of land you have
been thinking of, or you could forget about upgrading your car or you
could travel by second class instead of by an AC coach and give that
money.If you are in a position to give only
a couple of hundred rupees,even that is welcome...but only if you
could,say, skip eating for a day and put in that money.You decide
what you want to give up, but believe me it would be meaningless
without that element of sacrifice.

If you dont agree with what I am saying then please do mail me....I
fully realise that I may be wrong....about anything...each of us will
find our own answers which will be applicable only to ourselves, but
in such a situation it is important to share your thoughts.I also
apologise if I hurt anyone by sharing thier mails,but I feel it is
extremely important to talk about these things in the public
domain.....if you specifically tell me not to forward your mails to
others I will of course comply....

You could think of several ways of helping out from wherever you
are....please share these with others.

With faith and hope
Gurpal