Parking his vehicle in the higher parking lot in the Cyber world the offices complex hosting over 30 software and BPO companies, Jaimini, a software professional in his mid twenties started walking towards the tower in which his office is located.
On the path way he just passed couple of young girls both dressed in traditional Indian chudidars and conducting themselves very carefully.
“New people in the campus” he thought – “ the day seems to be good as I came across two traditional girls with calm countenance”.
In ten paces he faced another set of girls dressed in skintight jeans and tees appears like bought when they were in their sixth standard. Those cloths are hardly hiding any of the contours of the well grown up girls. “Shhhhhpppp!” he thought.
What kind of parenting these girls must be receiving? They are well grownup and got lot of flesh in strategic areas as they are now tuned to eating pizzas and burgers and they wear such dress…. Jaimini was little uncomfortable.
He however could not resist planting his eyes touching the so-called strategic locations on those girls. As he walked towards his office, he saw more and more girls wearing skirts, jeans and different types of western clothing – strikingly low necks, short length showing lot of interesting spaces in flesh.
Jaimini’s face became tensed and uncomfortable. At the same time he is not avoiding his eyes from the girls.
“Hey Jai!” he heard familiar voice. It’s Vyas.Jai’s Senior in the team.
“Hey Vyas, how are you” Jaimini greeted his senior with care.
“I am doing fine, you look little tensed up early in the morning” Vyas observed Jai’s expressions “anything wrong?” He enquired curiously.
“Nothing special Vyas, I am feeling little uncomfortable at the site of girls early in the morning” replied Jai.
“What’s wrong? Any new girl came in or gave any special appearance?” Vyas was his vibrant self even at the first hour.
“No, I am wondering what kind of parenting these girls must be receiving” Jai expressed his frustration.
“Why? Did someone misbehaved with you?” asked Vyas.
“No, but they are misbehaving with everybody in the campus. Look at what they are wearing. I don’t say that they should go back to traditional dress and hide themselves behind heavy clothing, but this is not acceptable either” Jai said.
“What’s wrong with their clothing? These are the latest fashions.” Vyas observed.
“So what! This is not a fashion parade. I don’t expect these girls come here in the way they walk on the ramp” Jai was furious.
“The meaning of showing on the ramp is not just to manage the show. Those clothes are for wearing and if someone likes those designs they will buy” Vyas observed.
“Look at them. Most of them are well grown up. They put on lot of weight. The dresses they are wearing are outrageously small or tight” Jai expressed his concern with some more clarity.
“I understand your point. But let me ask you something. Are these girls going on their own or maintain eye contact with you and smiling at you to generate some excitement?” Vyas asked
“They are big snobs. They are just talking among themselves about whole world and do not bother to have eye contact with the passers by” said Jai.
“Do you have a habit of saying hello to people whom you never know but just passing by?” Vyas asked.
“No, I tried for a while. People felt that I am a steward on the floor and started ordering coffee and water” Jai was little embarrassed at the thought of the incident.
“Meaning, none of us keep eye contact with strangers and say hello, that is little bit cultural issue around here in India” Vyas observed.
“I agree. I am not happy with the situation but cannot help” Jai felt.
“If so, why do you expect these girls in modern dress keep eye contact with you? Do you think that they are in a fashion parade and wearing all these new dresses just to attract people like you?”Vyas asked point blank.
“If not for showing off, why are these girls wearing such provocative dress?” asked Jai.
“What do you mean by provocative dress? Unless these girls attempt to show provocation in their actions, eyes or behaviour, merely wearing a dress – may be skintight does not indicate provocation” said Vyas.
“Then why these new fashions?” Jai was surprised at the line Vyas was taking him. So far his observations were well supported by many of his friends in the office. A lot of them felt that because of this so-called liberalism there is a rise of atrocities on women in t his country.
Vyas continued, “ see Jai. Provocation need not always be on the other person. It can be within ourselves and the expression can be more uglier than what you are expressing now”.
Jai was unhappy. For a genuine observation Vyas seems to be attaching damaging colours.
“Vyas I feel insulted at what you say. Do you think that I think about sex day in and day out?” he asked.
Vyas said “Nothing wrong. You are in mid twenties. In this age, you have everyright to think about sex and your feelings will also be influenced by physiological factors such as your food habits, drink habits, sleep habits and what you watch in the TV or what kind of movies you watch and so on.”
Jai was even unhappier. “Vyas tell me one thing, do you think that I am not myself and working under somebody’s influence? I am a very accomplished software designer and people respect my creativity”
Vyas calmly said”Jai, my appologies if I hurt your feelings. However, if any of those girls hear what you commented on them, do you think they will be happy and pround?”
Jai understood the point. “Vyas, sorry for being harsh. I see your point. You want to say that those girls have their rights and we should respect them”
Vyas seems to be amused at this observation “Yes” he said showing high energy “You are now sounding very nice. That is the point I am trying to drive you to”
“Vyas, if that is the case, what should be my reaction? Should I be insensitive to my environment? Why am I feeling uncomfortable? Why am I not recognizing others individual rights?” Jai asked.
“Jai, there are two different reasons. -
One, we in India were brought up in a very protected environment where we do not receive sufficient education about ourselves, our physical and mental health from our parents or other elders. Everyone has to learn these essential things such as sex energies on their own.” Vyas said thoughtfully.
He continued “In the quest of essential knowledge during our teen age when we notice sudden growth of new energies in ourselves, we tend to get unwanted knowledge though dirty literature and our senior’s explorations into those energies. Such exposure lead to formation of some fixations in us during our teens which will stay in our subconscirous throughout our life”
“Vyas I am thoughtly confused. Some of the points you made were perfectly correct. When I was in my higher school studies I was desparate to understand the difference between man and woman but there were no body to advise me” Jai tried recollecting his own experience. “During those days I used to see pictures of nacked women and talk to some of my seniors who used to describe the sex acts they observed in their homes and neighbours bedrooms”
“That’s the point I am trying to communicate. Such experiences lead to formation of fixations in young minds, which will stay in our subconscious as we grow up and learn about man women relationships.
“What is the other point you wanted to make Vyas?” Jai started feeling comfortable and energetic.
“The freedom women enjoyed in our society was reduced constantly from the days of vedic civilization. Rigid codes were developed initially to protect women whose main duty was to breed children. But later societies became increasingly patriarchial – dominated by man. So they used these rules to suppress women.” Vyas was slowly into lecturing mode.
“I am not able to relate these two topics.” said Jaimini.
“I will tell you. One is – because of fixations you feel outrageous when you look at some explicit display of female organs. Since we lost respecting women because of historic reasons we tend to feel even more outrageous. Because of that reason you are uncomfortable and not accepting the girls wearing dress of their choice.
“You mean, because of deeprooted cultural values we are not respecting our women colleagues?” Jai asked.
“You are fantastic!!!” appreciated Vyas.”That is exactly the point I wanted to make. You understand all the points I am making but your first reaction when you observe a girl wearing dress of her choice is – “she is outrageously dressed”.
Though these girls here are wearing skin tights, they never showed that they wanted to become nimphomaniacs. They are just showing their new freedom” Vyas sounded though he is little bit excited.
“It is hard to believe that the cultural factors are so deeprooted in me. Don’t you think that there could be some influence of my education and other experience in diluting the cultural personality formed in me?” Jai asked showing some amount of embarrassement.
Vyas said, “ Yes. All those experiences will have their impact. But look at what are we doing as a society. Our arts, our movies, our advertising everywhere the creaters are trying to impact the subsconscious where the fineness of civilization will not present. Excessive exposure to them also accentuate these fossil feelings in our roots”
“I am not quite following Vyas” Jai was honest.
“Look at what we are highlighting in our arts and movies. I agree that man women relations are key in human relation chain. But after reaching certain evolutionary level, we should focus on taking the civilization further rather than focussing on the basic instincts. I appreciate if these people focus on educating the generation about the explosive energies we possess and what happens if we are not aware and learn to handle those energies with care.” Vyas observed
“I am understanding the point. Those are commercial activities, we cannot mandate what they should do” Jai said.
“I fully agree, when we talk about rights of one section of the society other section should also get their own rights. I am just observing the impact of such acts. I keep hearing from middle and senior aged people stating that a particular movie is not fit for watching with family. They are willing to watch this movie alone because it deals with basic instincts. It is acceptable to touch the basic instincts when you are alone but not with your family. Such acts will not communicate right message to growing up youngsters in the family. This trend is little more in south india for example” Vyas continued his speech.
“That makes sense. Howcan you watch a rape scene or explicit romantic scene when you have your mother or sister besides you?” Jai said.
“That’s the point I want to make. At animal level we are sexes and each one of us have the need and understand what is that need all about. So why do you want to add the flavour of civilization when two of those other sex people were related to you? Why not the same when you deal with other people?”
Vyas made a point.
Jai was thoughtful. Aren’t we becoming idealistic? If we have to use this logic, where do we get opportunities to satisfy our needs? He expressed the same to Vyas.
Vyas said, “ I am not advising you to ignore your own needs. I only am saying that everything has its own time and place. In the name of satisfying your basic needs you cannot ignore individual rights of our women colleagues. This is the brave new world where these girls are finding their feet, framing their own openions about everything and expressing it. They prefer to live their life in their own way.”
“Our society denied this for ages. Most of the mothers of these girls were also among those people who were denied the freedom to live their lives in the way they like. So when they see their children finding their wings, they are not in a position to advise and regulate. At times this new freedom may be misused but in general this has to be accepted to take our society to the next level. If we cannot shed the fossil thinking we inherited, we cannot allow our women colleagues their due in this world” he continued.
“After so much of discussion also, I am not understanding how should I handle this situation. I get attracted towrds these girls because they are provocative” Jai expressed his concern.
Vyas said, “You feel the provocation because of the fixations you framed in your mind. These fixations are essentially formed because your elders denied some information to you during your growing up years and later such fixations were accentuated by the arts, movies, literature and friendly discussions you are exposed to”
“What do you mean? I am a psychic patient?” Jai sounded worried
Vyas said “Absolutely no. Having a fixation is not a disease. We get fixations right from our birth and growing up. My observation is, because of such fixations you feel outrageous when you are tempted and your expressions indicate that”
“How can we handle such situation Vyas?” Jai was sincere
“I am not sure. I know the reason but not the cure for that. I however don’t think that we require some kind of psychological counselling. We should follow some fundamentals to weaken the existing fixations.
First – start respecting each individual and their rights. As long as they are not explicitly gesturing you, do not think that they are trying to be provocative.
Second – change your entertainment habits. Do not expose yourself too much to explicit romantic acts either in reading or in movies. Do not completely ignore and stop enjoying them but do not overplay as well.
Third – try to concentrate on activities that can beam positive energy on to your being. Music, literature, social service any other kind of creative hobbies and so on can help you here” Vyas explained accepting that he is not a professional psychologist to handle the situation but still he could help himself with some discipline.
“Vyas, I am feeling comfortable now. I am not sure if I do not feel outrageous the next time when I come across another female colleague of ours but I am sure even if I become one – I will immediately recollect this conversation and think about respecting such individual’s right” Jai thanked Vyas.
Vyas looked at Jai with satisfaction and encouragement in his eyes. They moved on towards their office to face another hectic day to help customers across globe.